At our Bible Study at St. A’s this morning, I made a remark about the fact that I must be growing up, because more and more these days I recognize what I don’t know.
When I was younger (my congregation is quite convinced that I am still “younger,” God bless them!) I seemed to know exactly where I stood in my faith. You could raise almost any issue with me and I would tell you what I thought. I look back and realize how sure I was about everything.
Now, don’t get me wrong there are still things I am absolutely sure of: that Jesus is the only begotten Son of God, that he died for the sins of humanity (including mine), that he rose again on the third day, breaking the bonds of sin and death forever, that those who put their trust in him are forgiven and made new (including me), that those who put their trust in him are given eternal life. My faith is strong and I know whom I have believed.
But as our study group looks at the different characters in the crucifixion narrative, I find I have a whole lot of questions. Many more questions than answers. Why did Judas betray? What was Peter thinking as he denied…or was he thinking at all? Why couldn’t Caiaphas and the other priests, who should have been well acquainted with holiness, recognize the holiness of Jesus? What were Pilate’s motivations?
I realize there is an awful lot I don’t know. And that’s not a bad thing. Jesus taught in parables that were open for interpretation. He left space for us to not get it (even his disciples were good at that). He left space for questions and wondering.
During the season of Lent, may you wonder. May you question. May you find that you are ok with not knowing everything.
“Can you search out the deep things of God? Can you find out the limits of the Almighty?
Job 11:7 NKJV