And meanwhile…

A year ago, I couldn’t have imagined being where I am. I couldn’t have imagined leaving a life and a career that – sadly – were no longer bringing me joy and fulfillment. I couldn’t have imagined standing up for myself and saying – enough.

And – again, sadly – I couldn’t have imagined the pathway God has laid out before me. I should know better than to ever doubt that His Grace will always be more than I could ask or imagine…but every time I find myself stunned by it. Stunned that He really loves who I really am. Stunned that when I’m at the end of my rope, He’s just not anywhere close to done with me yet. 

And so I find myself sitting by a lovely pool, on a warm night. I just watched a truly spectacular sunset. I took a nap and read some of the book I’m loving, today.

And you know what? Slowly, I am letting go of the hurts of this last year. They still sting me from time to time, my blood boils when I think back on things, but I am also getting to the place where I regret nothing. 

I don’t think I’m at forgiveness yet – and I may not be for a while. But I can feel its approach. I will get there, just as I got here, in  God’s good time. 

And meanwhile, step by step, he is leading me back to myself. Not to the me I was, but to the me that I have become and am becoming. Because, after all, He’s still not done with me yet. 

And meanwhile, I am making space for myself – space to rest and to heal and to allow what is new to emerge. 

And meanwhile, I am blessed to reconnect with friends, to share laughter and silliness, deep talks and best scars. 

And meanwhile, my eyes are trained on the beauty of the world around me. I forgot, in my darkest times, that life really IS beautiful. I am remembering and recognizing it again.

So, dear friends, wherever you find yourself, may you know that God is not done with you yet. Whether you are thriving or just surviving, trust that God has you where He needs to you to be, and is laying out a pathway for you that is better than you can ask or imagine.

2 thoughts on “And meanwhile…

  1. Dear Rebekah, I don’t know how to start so here goes. Anything you put your mind to you will succeed.
    I was asking Luke how you were and your church.He is not one to talk about his dear friend and he said you weren’t preaching anymore. I am saddened to hear that a good preacher is not preaching due to crap going on in the church.
    It is wonderful that you are able, with God, to make a new life.
    From what I have gleaned over the years you and Barb and Morley are truly good people doing God’s work. I am very thankful Luke has met you all and accepted him and Naiel into your lives.
    As you say God is leading you but I am truly sorry you had to go through such a sad time.
    Take care and God Bless,

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