I am doing a lot of writing for the church right now (annual report, column in the news letter, sermons, etc.) and I just don’t feel like I have a lot of words left in me tonite. So I thought I would share a poem – someone else’s words, instead of my own. Only, I couldn’t remember the name of the poem. I knew it was ee cummings, and there was some mention of the sky in it. But that’s all. I’ve been searching for this poem for a while now. Tonite as I searched for it, I suddenly remembered the line “than all the sky which only is higher than the sky”.

Yay! With that I was able to find it!

I am not sure I have ever known what this poem means, but I have always loved it.

So without further adieu, here is:

[love is more thicker than forget] by ee cummings.

So I posted a couple of days ago about the plateau I’ve hit on my weight loss journey (one friend who sympathized renamed it the “FREAKIN’ Plateau” to properly express the emotional distress that it is causing). I decided, after reading some articles on weightwatchers.ca and whining to any of my friends who listen, to do something about it.

So today I began working on core strength training with my new stability ball. You know what? It was an absolute blast! I had SO much fun trying to stay on the ball (I’m so wobbly! My balance sucks! Hahahahahahha!) as I did my routine. I seriously couldn’t stop smiling afterwards. I want to do the work out again just to see if I’m any better (or worse!) at staying on the ball. But they tell you to take a day off in between workouts.

Still, I love the fact that I WANT to do these exercises. As someone who hates working out (seriously, I HATE it…I only do it because I don’t like how I was feeling when I didn’t do it), this is very exciting.

I think there is a trick when it comes to commitment or discipline. I think you have to find a sweet spot: something you like that helps you stick to your discipline. For example, it’s easy for me to be disciplined with Weight Watchers because it appeals to my rule-bound-ness and my love for list-making (really, tracking is just making a list every day of what you have eaten). It’s easy for me to be disciplined about walking every day because it has the added bonus of being something I do with friends (both the 2 legged AND the 4 legged variety). I think it will be easy to be disciplined about the stability ball because there is an element of fun to it.

I think one of the weird ideas we have about faith is that we need to be disciplined in it (praying, reading our bibles, going to church regularly, etc.), but somehow that is separate from having fun. What ever gave us that idea? Why do we think that way?

I don’t have an answer, but I know this: I am more likely to be disciplined in my faith if I am having fun in my faith. Just the same with all the other disciplines in my life. That’s why so much of my faith development takes place in conversation with other people, or through listening to preachers who I love, or by going out to choir practice because I love to sing, or by searching for glimmers of the Gospel in movies, tv, novels and songs.

Faith, like life, is meant to be fun.

So Sunday marked the end of the week of prayer for Christian Unity. In the fall I was invited by the Rector, Rev. Dr. Byron Gilmore, of Christ Church Anglican to do a pulpit-swap in honor of the day. For the uninitiated – a pulpit swap is pretty much how it sounds – you and another minister swap churches for the morning. You go to their place, and they come to yours. I’ve done a pulpit swap before with another Presbyterian Church, but never with another denomination.

So this was quite the new experience to me. In fact, I have only every been to an Anglican church once before in my life (during my seminary days). Christ Church is a vibrant congregation and they have three services on a Sunday morning. Byron was kind enough to let me out of preaching at the 7:45am spoken Eucharist service (thank God…I’m not a morning person), but I was on for the 9am Contemporary and the 10:45am Choral Eucharist.

It is fascinating to me that the elements of worship are the same in the Presbyterian Church and the Anglican Church – we both read scripture, pray, sing, and preach – but the practice of the elements are quite different. The contemporary service was quite easy to follow, though I still managed to get lost on some of the liturgical responses. But the 10:45am was…well, let’s say I felt my fish-outta-water-ness in that service!

But you know what impressed me most about the whole experience? How kind and welcoming my Anglican brothers and sisters were. They were so thankful that I came to speak to them, they gave me flowers, they invited me to the potluck lunch after worship. It was quite wonderful.

And in all of that, I tasted a bit of heaven right here on Earth. The Associate at Christ Church, Stephanie, shared with the congregation that Byron had said at the 7:45am service “there are no denominations in heaven.”

I’ve written before about the journey I’ve been on with Weight Watchers. I joined online in April 2011 and have lost a total of 57.8 pounds. So you’d think I’d be jumping up and down, right?

Nope.

I mean, I recognize what an accomplishment that is, I know it has taken a lot of hard work and discipline. I understand that there are a lot of people who have been inspired by my story, and more who wish that they could lose half that amount. I understand all of that. So why am I not jumping up and down?

Because I have hit a plateau. It happens. If you read up on the WW, they will tell you to expect it, and to try some small changes (maybe change up some things in your diet, or add another activity to your regiment). Those adjustments might help. But for the most part, a plateau is a thing to be waited-out. Just keep on course, stick to your points, do your exercise and your body will start to lose again.

It’s good advice, because it’s true. I’ve been through more than one plateau in the 9 months that I’ve been on this journey. And every time, I’ve done the same thing: toughed it out, made it through, and gone on to lose more once the plateau is over.

But the reality is – having been through it before doesn’t make it any easier to go through. I know what to do, I know I will make it through this, but I still find it very discouraging. I find myself doubting that I will ever lose another pound (I have 24 to go until goal weight). I find myself worrying that I will somehow, suddenly put all the weight back on (even though I’m not changing my meals or my exercise routine). It’s irrational, and yet there it is.

And you know what? I think the same thing happens in our spiritual journey. There are mountain tops – those moments when it feels like God is so very close and everything is new. And there are plateaus – times when it feels like it’s just another Sunday, just another sermon, just another prayer. And in the midst of the plateau, it is easy to find ourselves doubting, worrying, fearing, despairing.

I think these are the moments when we most need a community who can walk the road with us. I am part of a group on Facebook where a number of women gather and share about their weightloss journeys. Whenever I am feeling bummed that the scale hasn’t moved, these ladies give me a verbal slap upside the head, and remind me that there is much to be thankful for, that this too shall pass.

If we let it, the church can do the same for us in our spiritual plateaus. The community of believers – if we let them in on our struggles and plateaus – can pray for us, listen to us, share their faith with us and encourage us until we make it through to a better day.

I don’t have a brilliant ending for this post – I just got thinking about how these things mirror each other.

P.S. For those of you waiting for a report on my pulpit swap with a local Anglican minister: it’s coming, I just needed a little more time to process before I am ready to post!

As I worked on final prep for tomorrow’s sermon earlier this evening, I found myself excited. I was invited to do a pulpit swap with the Anglican Church up the road from my church. It’s going to be a different experience for me – I’ve never preached to a bunch of Anglicans before!

The pulpit swap is in honor of the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity. It’s actually very cool that Christ Church Anglican in Brampton does this – it’s a way that they live-out their belief in Christian unity. Every year for a long time now, they’ve invited clergy from a different denomination to swap pulpits with them. Their rector, Rev. Dr. Byron Gilmore, and I will actually be embodying Christian unity by preaching to each other’s congregations tomorrow.

The neat thing is that I’m finding I’m not really nervous about it. I’m just excited. Looking forward to this new experience. And that in itself is a triumph for me. I am often intimidated by new things. Maybe I’m growing, a bit!

What I love best about this experience I’m about to have, is that idea of embodying Christian unity. Not just paying it lip-service, but actually finding ways to work together with other denominations to accomplish God’s work in our world. I think the world would be a better place if we found more and more ways to do that.

I think my favorite thing about faith is finding ways to live it out – to actually DO the things that we talk about on Sundays, that the Scriptures teach, that we pray about.

So if you are in church tomorrow – no matter what denomination your church may be – take a moment to think about how to apply the message you’re hearing. It will change you and it will change our world.

Fridays are always my day off. But usually, it’s a really busy day for me. I get up, get out for a walk, get a couple of things done around the house, and then travel to spend time with friends in Oshawa.

But this weekend, I decided I just needed to take some time for me. As anyone who reads this blog regularly will know – I’ve had two colds in the last month. I’ve been a little run down and tired. I have needed a break.

Today was that break. I got up at the usual time, got out for an hour-long walk with Koski and a friend. And then…I did nothing.

All. Day. Long.

Ok – not nothing. I watched TV, I read my book, I played on the internet, I walked Koski again, I ate. So not nothing – but nothing of real significance. I didn’t drive anywhere. I didn’t have to be anywhere or do anything. No one had any expectations of me, and I didn’t have anything that had to be checked off my list. It was kind of glorious.

When God made the world, he rested on the 7th day. And if you study how Jesus did his ministry – he spent time with people, and then he withdrew from the crowds to pray and spend time with his Father. I think in both of those things there are hints to how we are made – we are made to have a day of rest.

Life is busy, but I hope you can find time in the midst of it all for the rest you need.

So yesterday I posted about a struggle I’m dealing with right now. And today I received support from friends and from family. Some wanted to say they were praying for me, some wanted me to know they were cheering on, some wanted to share their struggles with me, so I would know I wasn’t the only one.

Again, I find myself amazed by the people God has brought into my life. What ever my finances are like, I am rich in friends. And that is so much better than money.

So I just wanted to take a moment to give a shout out to the fact that no matter what you’re going through, you are never alone. That in itself doesn’t solve the struggle, but it sure does make it easier to face the struggle and work your way through it.

For several unforseen reasons, I’m struggling a bit with my finances right now. It’s not end-of-the-world bad. I’ve been in tighter spots before. But I’ve declared a shopping ban on myself for the forseeable future.

The exceptions are necessities: if I drop another size, I will have to buy some clothes. And since joining Weight Watchers I don’t restrict myself when it comes to spending on food. I figure it is always worth it to spend whatever needs to be spent in order to get the fresh fruit and veggies that I need to make sticking to my points possible.

But buying clothes because I feel like it? Makeup because I want something sparkly? Accessories as a pick-me-up? That’s out for now.

As I said, this isn’t the worst financial struggle I’ve ever been through, and I know that I can get it under control (I’ve done it before), but I was chatting with a friend on the phone today and it struck me that this IS a struggle I’m facing right now. And then I thought of this pin I’d seen on Pinterest.

I loved this when I saw it because it made me think that struggles aren’t something to just be solved and moved-on-from, but something to be fully experienced and which can help form us into the person we were made to be.

So I am choosing to trust in this struggle. To trust that it will help shape me. To trust that God has brought me to this time for His purposes in my life.

I choose to trust the struggle.

Today my folks came for a visit. They brought with them many things I had left behind when I visited them at the beginning of the month. I am thankful for that.

Within moments of arriving they began to seek ways to be helpful in my house. So some pictures are hung that had been waiting to be hung, all of the Christmas stuff is put away, some laundry is done and the dishes as well. I am thankful for that.

When I came home from the church, they had already let the dog out in the yard and then mopped up the muddy paw prints in the kitchen. I am thankful for that.

Most of all the have hugged me and chatted with me, and just BEEN my parents and I am endlessly thankful for that.

God did a good job when he chose to give me to Morley and Barb. And I am thankful for that.

I have a friend who once told me that part of his evening routine with his daughter is to ask her “Where did you see God today?” She lists places where she sees God, and then asks him and he answers with his own list. I love that as an idea for Christian parenting, and for the way I think it creates a bond between him and his daughter.

I expect that years and years from now, she will remember those talks with her Dad. And I hope and pray she will also continually be looking for God throughout her day.

Every once in a while, I find myself asking that same question. So today, I saw God in the kind words of more than one friend who think I am a little too tough on myself. It was like God was behind all these different conversations whispering “Rebekah, I love you as you are, you don’t have to be perfect. But you DO have to know that I love you.”

So to the friends who took time to say/write kind words to me: thank you! And to my Heavenly Father, who whispers to me through the words of my friend: I am blessed to be your child.