I need a hero!

Tonite I took myself out to the movies. As a single person, I learned to go to the movies by myself a number of years ago. It’s easy to miss the good big-screen movies if you are trying to find someone else to go with. I love going to the movies on my own. It’s a treat.

The Avengers is one of the most-anticipated movies of the summer season. Even though it is early in the season and I am sure there will be other must-see-on-the-big-screen films to check out. I wouldn’t say that this is one that I was anticipating (unlike The Dark Knight Rises for which I am super-duper stoked!). So I may have missed it all together, since I don’t go to the movies that often. But then I heard that Joss Whedon wrote and directed it, and my interest spiked. I’ve been a fan of Whedon’s since back in the early days of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I love the way he forms characters and he has a knack for witty banter that is unparallelled.

I have to say, The Avengers did not disappoint. But what struck me as I enjoyed this crazy, funny, explosive, popcorn-fest of a movie, is how much we love heroes. The villain in the movie is Loki, and he likes to pontificate about the fact that humans love to be ruled, that we have tendency towards being subjugated. But I think we have a tendency towards hero worship. We love to come up with stories where someone must save the day. We love to come up with characters who have the powers to save the day.

I admit – I love hero stories, too. But as much fun as Iron Man and Thor and Captain America are – and as cheesy as it might sound to some for me to say this – they cannot hold a candle to Jesus Christ. Sure, he didn’t have a hammer or magic shield or a rocket-suit. But Jesus had wisdom, and courage and most of all, a depth of love that is unsurpassed. Jesus isn’t my homeboy, he’s my super-hero. He’s my saviour. And I wouldn’t want to face a world without him.

Accomplished…

Some days I go to bed at night wondering if I have actually accomplished anything during the day that was. Today is not one of those day. I woke up early this morning. I got the shopping done for myself for the week, and also for the snacks for our contemporary service at church tomorrow. I went and shared tea with a group of ladies who are over 80 and are members at St. Andrews. They deserve to be honored for their long years on this earth and in this community of faith, and I was honored to be among them.

When I got home from that event, I spent time making some cupcakes and a chicken chilli. I got 4 loads of laundry done and I cleaned up the kitchen.  I reviewed my sermon for the contemporary service and printed the ‘final’ version of it. I even snuck a nap into this afternoon.

It feels good to have checked a number of things off of my “to do” list.

A life in the ministry is one where you spend some days doing nothing more than talking and thinking. It’s hard to judge how much is accomplished on those days. Sometimes my ‘work’ is one of listening – simply being able to hear what another is going through, and perhaps pass on some encouragement to them. In these cases, it is really hard to judge how much time and energy is expended in the work of ministry. That’s the nature of the beast. Sometimes one conversation – which took no more than 20 minutes – can feel like a full day’s hard labour.

Perhaps that is why a day like today, one in which I can check off a number of ‘tasks’ (though, admittedly, not all of them had to do with ministry), feels so good. It’s nice to have something tangible in the midst of a life that is committed to the intangible, the ethereal, the transcendent.

Today I feel accomplished. And blessed. And ready for tomorrow.

I love a good storm…

When I was 6 years old, I was in a tornado, up at my Grandparents’ cottage north of Thunder Bay. For years and years after that I’ve been pretty leery of severe weather. But somewhere in my late twenties, I suddenly found I wasn’t panicking at the sight of dark thunder heads anymore. Now, I will admit that if the wind starts to whip, I keep an eye on it. I’m not totally over my fear of thunderstorms, but what used to paralyze me no longer does.

That’s kind of neat. I like to think that God has done a lot to heal me of that fear.

These days I enjoy a good storm. I love the sound of the rolling thunder and heavy rain. I love the hiss of car tires as they drive over wet streets. I love the flash of lightening. I love the clean scent of the air after the rain, and the way that the sun shines differently making the world look washed and new.

Sometimes, you need a good storm. The day has been too humid and muggy, the air needs to be cleared. and the storm when it comes brings with it a sense of release and relief. I think it’s the same in life. Things have been a little messy and muggy and humid in my life recently, but I feel like a storm has blown through, and the air is clear again.

I was remarking to a colleague and friend at lunch that April was not a good month. She smiled and said “Yeah, but now it’s May.” And I found myself grinning in response. Yes. It is May. A new month.

The storm has come, and the air is clean. Thank God!

Back to it!

After the better part of a week without strenuous exercise due to a cold, some nasty stomach pains, and a general exhaustion, I’m so pleased to say that today I am back to it!

I got out for 90min (about 7.5km) of walking with the puppy today, and then did a tough WOD (Workout of the Day) with the Deck of Cards App on my iPhone. My four moves (assigned to each suit of a deck of cards) were: Kettle Bell Goblet Squats, Kettle Bell Reverse Lunges, Leg Raises and Push Ups. I also managed to do two Jokers: one was 15 burpees (pretty sure my form sucked, but by the time I got to this card I was pretty fatigued, so I’m not complaining) and the other was 20 plank climbers (starting out in plank position on elbow and then straightening each arm before returning to elbows). It was a brutal workout, but it felt great.

I have this bad habit sometimes – I tell myself things that aren’t true. I don’t mean that I lie to myself, necessarily… Let me explain. Take the past few days and my lack of exercise, as an example. I told myself I was too tired, it would be too hard, I wouldn’t get through it and one day off wouldn’t make any difference. Now in some ways there was truth in those things…I have been very tired this week, it would be hard (though, I believe, not TOO hard) to do a workout when tired/run down, one day doesn’t make a huge difference in the long run.

At the same time I think I used these things as an excuse to not do something that is good for me. I wonder if we do that when it comes to faith. Do I use the busy-ness of a day as an excuse not to pray or to read my Bible? Do I say to myself I am too tired for this at the end of a day, and go to sleep without involving God in my day? Do I tell myself that one day off is no big deal, and then realize that it has been many days since I spent time with my Heavenly Father?

Sadly – even in the life of a ‘professional’ Christian (i.e. pastor/minister/clergy) like me – the answer to these questions is “yes, sometimes.” And yet I know that if I take the time it will be time well spent. If I just get off my butt and do it, (whether ‘it’ is a workout or spending time with God) I will be thankful I did. I will find life easier to take and have a strength that surprises me.

I guess I just want to say tonight: if you are in one of those excuse-finding periods of your life right now, take a moment. Talk to God. Tell Him what is going on with you. Pull out your Bible and read some of the words of Jesus or a favorite Psalm. Pull out your iPod and listen to a worship song and actually PRAY the words to God as you listen/sing along. Just do it. You will be glad you did.

(Oh, and if you’re in an excuse-finding time right now when it comes to exercise. Get off your butt! Do it! You will be glad you did!)

 

 

Fear? Not!!

Last night I had the unpleasant experience of nightmares. I woke up in the middle of the night from a dream that didn’t seem so scary when I thought about it the next morning, in full daylight, while wide awake. But in the middle of the night, in a dark and quiet house, while sleep continued to drag at me and I couldn’t fight my way to full consciousness…it was terrifying.

I wonder if that is the way most of our fears work. In the light, when we are thinking clearly, when we are surrounded by others, they aren’t so bad. But get us alone, put us in the dark, take away our clear-headed-ness and it is a whole different story.

I admit, I am sometimes a very timid person, easily struck by fear. And that is one of the many reasons I am so thankful for my faith. Because my faith tells me that I am never alone. I have a world-wide family called the church. I have a Loving Father (God), a constant Teacher (Jesus) and a helpful comforter (the Holy Spirit).

The fears may still come but God answers them with the bold imperative “Fear not!”, and better than that bold imperative is the sentiment that always follows it: “for I Am with you.”

For the follower of Jesus, there is no such thing as alone in the dark. Because we are always bathed in the light of Christ, we are always in touch with the community of the triune (three-in-one) God. That doesn’t mean I will. Ever have another disturbing night like last night. But it does make it so much easier to deal with those nights when they come.

God provides…

I had reason to post on Facebook asking for a favour today, and I was overwhelmed by the response I received. I was in the midst of planning and visioning for our VBS this summer and I was thinking it would be great to have a parachute to use with the kids. So I started pricing them out – those suckers are expensive (not terribly so, but enough to make me pause and consider other possibilities before purchasing one). I decided to send out a general appeal on Facebook for one that could be borrowed for the week of VBS. Within 10hrs of posting I have received 4 offers and a link to a place where I could purchase one.

I barely even put any effort into solving this problem, and found that God was ready and willing to provide.

Sometimes I think we are too good at solving our own problems. Sometimes we don’t allow God to be God. My parachute example is a small one, but I would love to see what God could do if we, in faith, handed him some of our really big problems.

I think God loves to provide and God loves to overwhelm us. I mean, really, that is what the story of Jesus is about. That at the moment that looked like utter defeat, God was actually bringing victory. At the moment when it looked like the Jesus movement was over, it was actually just beginning. At the moment of death, new life was given the chance to burst forth. And the disciples could hardly believe it when it happened.

It can be scary to hand over our big problems to God – it may lead us where we do not want to go, it may lead us to the cross. But I believe it will also lead us beyond the cross to Easter morning and the absolutely shocking goodness and mercy of our Loving Father God.

Hope

If you’ve been following my blog this week, you know it’s been a tough week for me. So this is my second post in 6 days about hope. Because really, it’s what I’ve got to cling to right now. Hope.

I used Google Images to look up hope a few minutes ago, and here is the best image I found:

 

 

This image reminds me of a favorite Bible Verse: And the light shines on in the darkness, and the darkness has never put it out. (John 1:5 ISV)

John is writing about Jesus, the light of the world.

That’s what I need remember and that is the truth I need to share with those who are traveling through difficult times right now. For those of you who have sent me worried emails and texts – thank you. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and your prayers. I promise I am ok, just bearing up under a heavy load. And even here, struggling under this weight, there is so much for which to give thanks. Most especially that the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has never put it out. Amen.

When life is tough….

…it’s good to stop and recognize the things for which I need to give thanks. This week hasn’t gotten any easier, so here we go with the gratitudes.

I am thankful for:
-knowing who I am. For some that is a life long battle. For me, I know I am a child of God called into His service. that is a good thing.

-puppy cuddles: there ain’t much better for a difficult week.

-my health – despite this dumb cold, I am young and my health is vastly improved over this time last year.

-good books and good tv to keep me company while I try to get better

-being down a size, it took about 5 months, so GLAD it has finally happened

There are so many other things I could list: friends, family, food, shelter, finances, Jesus, music…

Most of all, I think I am thankful that I have so much for which to
Give thanks!

The road is long…

Sometimes, life is weary-ing. My tough week began with a fender-bender on Thursday night, and has continued with some serious health concerns for a family member and some difficult issues at the church.

I am tired and suffering from a head-cold. It’s not the worst cold I’ve had in recent memory, and I’m quite sure it will be gone fairly quickly, but it’s one more brick added to a heavy load.

The lyrics of one of my favourite Neil Diamond songs is going through my head tonite:

The road is long, with many a-winding turn,
That leads to who knows where, who knows when
But I’m strong, strong enough to carry him
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother
So on we go
(Neil Diamond, “He Ain’t Heavy”)

I was thinking about faith and fitness. Due to busy-ness and then illness, I haven’t worked out for the last 3 days. No walking, no WOD, no nothin’. This makes me antsy. I feel nervous. I somehow still have a fear that all of the weight that I’ve lost in the past year is going to suddenly reappear on my body just because I haven’t gone for a walk or done some situps for a few days. It’s irrational, but it’s what I fear. I think that I fear that because I am so aware that fitness is a never-ending-road. This isn’t a project that ends when I hit my goal weight. It isn’t something that has a finish line at all (or at least, the finish line is death, which I hope is so far off as to be almost unworthy of time spent thinking about it). So every new day, every new week, is a new challenge. To do the work that my body requires to reach and maintain physical fitness.

The same thing is true about my faith. I don’t have a list of the tenets of Jesus or the the commandments, or anything else that I am checking off daily, hoping to reach the finish line. Instead, each moment, each situation, each conversation is a new challenge, a new opportunity to try to live like Jesus would.

For some, this might be discouraging. You might think “I’m never really going to GET there, so why try?” You might think you’re not strong enough to continue to travel this long road with it’s winding turns. But I see it in a more positive way. I am always going to have another chance to try, another workout to do, or another opportunity to show Christ’s love. This is a gift, this is a beautiful thing. And the strength I have doesn’t come from me, but from Jesus. I have an endless, boundless store of His strength to rely upon as I face the next leg of the journey.

It is true that sometimes it is wearying, but I think that only means it’s time to take rest, and then get up and face a new day with new challenges and opportunities.

Obsessed…

I have this tendency to become obsessed with the things I like. I become obsessed with a certain preacher – listening to their podcasts every week, reading the books they’ve written, following them on Twitter. But I do this with other things, too. Sometimes it’s a certain movie or tv show or novel. Sometimes it’s a song.

Right now it’s a song. Right now it’s Gotye’s “Somebody that I used to know.” I first heard it on American Idol (one of my tv obsessions), and then it was covered on Glee (another obsession). I bought the single the other day and occasionally I just throw it on repeat on my laptop or in the car, and listen over and over and over and over…

Told you I was obsessed. My friend Amanda posted a cover of the song by an acapella group called Pentatonix on facebook the other day, and I absolutely love it. So I just had to share it in this post.

I think this song has caught me up for a number of reasons. First of all, most of us know what it is to have a broken relationship – romantic or friendship or even a member of our family. Most of us know what that “now you’re just somebody that I used to know” feeling is all about.

Second of all, I love that both sides of the story are presented in the song. First you get the guy, who is clearly bitter and still hurting. But then a female voice comes in and reminds you that there are two sides to every story. I like that. It is true, and it pushes the song beyond your average “bitter break-up” song into something more conversational and more real.

Third, I like the instrumentation on Gotye’s version of the song. It’s slightly off-centre. The xylophone and the other percussion gives the song a sense of whimsy that contrasts beautifully with raw anger and bitterness of the lyrics and vocals.

Sometimes in the world of church, we categorize music: that which is worship and that which is secular. But I have always believed that there isn’t a really clear line between the two. God has given us the gift of being capable of making and enjoying music. I believe that any time that gift is used (in a way that doesn’t cause harm), God is honored and worship occurs.

So today I am thankful for the God-given gift of music.