faith journey

Living…

tramonto sul mare

Tonite I had the opportunity to watch a movie with my GRACE Group. The theme of how to live life well was prevalent in the film, and it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

Lent is a journey from death to new life – we start on Ash Wednesday, acknowledging the fragility of our lives, the ease with which we sin, the sacrifice of Christ which was necessary for our salvation. And then for 40 days we walk toward Easter – that morning when life triumphed over death. The grave was empty and the world made new. My colleague/friend/teammate Geoff is fond of saying you can’t really GET Easter unless you’ve done the full journey. You have to have Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, a long silent Saturday before you get to celebrate the Resurrection.

Slowly, I’m coming to the belief that you have to have journeyed properly through Lent. Not just giving up chocolate or swearing. Not just singing some of the hymns that are written in minor keys (goodness, the Lent section of our hymn book is a tad on the dreary side, isn’t it?). Not just acknowledged Lent with your lips.

But actually walked that whole journey. You have to have stood, slightly awkward with a smudgy cross on your forehead, aware of your sin, on Ash Wednesday. Thought, acted, prayed and read your way through the weeks of Lent. Each day with the cross looming on the horizon. Each day with the thought and question of what it all means. Taken Communion on Maundy Thursday. Wept on Good Friday. Tried – knowing it was impossible – to get back to what the disciples must have felt on that long, quiet Saturday.

Only then, can Easter Sunday really be celebrated. Because Easter is something like life. You cannot fast-forward through it to get to the parts you like. You cannot simply have a montage and a cool song to deal with all that will happen on the journey (don’t you sometimes wish life was a movie?). You cannot understand the ending unless you’ve experienced the beginning and all the (sometimes boring) bits in the middle.

Living well doesn’t happen suddenly because you wanted it to. It happens slowly, over time. It is the result of a thousand little decisions. It is the choices you make in front of others and in private. It is the meal you shared with others and all the ones you ate alone. It is the failures that lead to an eventual success. Living well is more than the sum of its parts – it is all the parts themselves put together that somehow make a good life. And if you take your eyes off the goal, it is so very easy to get lost.

Jesus said,

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.
John 10:10 NRSV

Jesus came that we might live well. That was his purpose – to give life. And he contrasts it with the thief’s (read: enemy, Satan, evil) purpose.

During this season of Lent, may we take the time to think about how we are living. May we journey through each day with the cross looming on the horizon. May we draw closer to the One who came to give abundant life.

I am, you are…

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I came across this on Facebook recently. It was one of those days when things weren’t going right, and I needed something to let me know it’s all going to be okay.

You know days like this? They start when you get out of bed and knock over the glass on your bedside table…spilling water and shattered glass everywhere. Then you find you are running late and no matter how hard you try to rush, you fall further and further behind. When you try to get a bit of grocery shopping, you discover you left the list at home and though you try to remember it all, you aren’t able to do so and you know you’ll have to find time to make another trip to the store. Someone makes a remark, and it’s the kind of thing that would normally slide right off your back, but this time it digs beneath your skin and you feel the sting of it hours, or even days, later. The dog bites, the bee stings, and you’re feeling sad.

Instead of thinking of brown paper packages tied up with strings on days like that…I want to remember whose I am. Because at the end of the day, when everything is a mess, if I belong to God – who is peace, joy, strength, comfort, creator, and all the other things that God is revealed to be in the Bible – then the forgotten groceries, the shattered glass, the cutting remark, the bee sting…they all lose their power over me. The power rests instead with the One who created it all, who sent His Son to lay down his life that I (and you!) would be able to be with him forever. I am His. And in that I find my true identity, my true rest, my true hope.

So whether you’ve had one of those days, or whether everything has been just fine – be encouraged my friends. You are HIS. Nothing can ever change that.

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Ephesians 3:14-19 NLT

Troubled waters…

I always find January a difficult month. I think it is a bit of lag from the excitement and busy-ness of the Christmas season. I think it is partially that I really struggle with the winter season – I don’t like having to put on hat, scarf, mitts, coat and sensible boots every time I want to go outside. I love that in summer all I have to do is grab a pair of flipflops and go.

Right now, in my town, there is ice EVERYWHERE. As a dedicated walker, this makes my day much more difficult. I am managing to get my walks in, but I am only going half the distance I usually would, and a good part of the time on my walk is spent concentrating on not wiping out.

I think it is also a little bit of the fact that it gets dark early and the days are often grey and dull here. I don’t think I have full-on Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I know I struggle more during the winter months.

I was thinking on this morning’s walk that I need to spend some time in gratitude. That is usually a great solution for the difficult days or the times of struggle.

And then, I found this on pinterest:

Screen shot 2014-01-15 at 9.06.19 PM

Can I tell you how much I love this theology? For me, any time of struggle is an opportunity to draw closer to God, to depend upon Him, to learn from Him. And any time spent drawing closer, depending upon and learning from God results in cleansing. Sometimes the learning is as simple as: I have forgotten gratitude, and I need to return to it. Sometimes it’s more difficult to figure out what the learning is meant to be.

But either way, I believe that any time we are facing trials – whether we’d term them troubled waters, wandering in the wilderness, or something else entirely – God has a good purpose to redeem our suffering.That doesn’t make the suffering easy, it doesn’t make it fun, but it does make it worth going through.

So today I choose to be thankful. And here’s my list of things I am thankful for on this day:
-good friends who speak wise, comforting and supportive words (you know who you are!)
-my best friend, a boxer-mix named Koski who always knows when I need an extra cuddle (how DOES she do that?)
-a community of faith that reminds me that I never walk this journey alone
-improvement (slow though it may be) in the state of the sidewalks where Koski and I walk each day (improvement, slow or fast, is always a good thing…it’s moving in the right direction)
-a gym that is close by, has a great class schedule, and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg (take any one of those details away, and I bet my fitness routine would tank!)
-sunshine on our walk this morning – the light shines in the darkness, my friends, and the darkness has never been able to put it out.

I encourage you to take a moment to think about things you are grateful for this day. Try to be specific. For example, “faith” is always a reason for gratitude, but focusing that down to something like “the knowledge that God is with me and others are praying for me,” will help you see the details that make “faith” a reason for gratitude.

And I leave you today, with this – my life verse, which always reminds me that even in tough moments, God is with me and for me:

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28

Mystery…

 

SmokeI was reminded today that the age of reasoned faith has passed and we are now living in the age of the Spirit…the age of mystery. And this means that the church needs to be not only ok with talking about the mystery of God, but encouraging to those who are longing to experience the mystery of God.

When I was younger (I know, some of you are thinking “Rebekah, you’re still young!”…but I mean 20 years ago – when I was in my late teens), I used to be scared of thinking of God as a mystery. I was at a time in my life when I needed to KNOW about God. I needed a strong, resolute, knowledge-based faith. And the last thing I wanted was anyone giving me room for doubt or for not-knowing or for not-having-all-the-answers. I was afraid of the mystery. (I love the line from the Caedmon’s Call song “Shifting Sands” that says: The only problem I have with these mysteries, is they’re so mysterious!)

But something has happened over the past 20 years. As I have journeyed forward in faith, and as God has been at work in my life, as I’ve grown up and as I’ve changed… I am no longer afraid of the mystery. The words “I don’t know” have become some of my favourite words. Maybe I’ve figured out that I don’t have it all figured out. Maybe I’ve figured out that it is ok that I don’t have it all figured out. Maybe I’ve realized that God doesn’t need me to have it all figured out. That I don’t have to have it all figured out, to still have faith.

Because God IS mysterious. He does things we don’t expect. His timing isn’t what we think it will be. If we think we’ve got it all figured out, we’re probably about to go into a serious faith crisis. Because sooner or later we will bump up against things that are bigger, tougher, and more confusing than anything we think we have figured out.

God is bigger than you and me, bigger than our plans, bigger than our solutions, bigger than our fears and bigger than our doubts. Bigger than the things we think we know.

Except for this one thing that I am absolutely, unshakably sure of: God loves me, and God loves you. And that one things is so powerful, that all the mystery in the universe cannot overcome it.

Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Ephesians 6:19-20 NIV

Source…

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I’ve been struggling with the cold-that-will-not-end for most of this new year. Being sick has wreaked havoc on my gym schedule. In the fall, I went 5 days a week, almost every week. But since the New Year, I have only had one 5-day week.

Today was the first day I made it to the gym in about two weeks time. Understandably, I’ve lost ground as far as my workout routine goes. It was harder to lift what I had been lifting before I got sick. As I worked out today, I sweated more, I was out of breath more, and I trembled more. One of the things that is often heard in the classes I take at the gym is the encouragement to keep going, even when your muscles are screaming for a break. That is the point where you’re really starting to sculpt your body – to make a real difference in the strength of your muscles. So often, our instructors tell us to mentally “power through the pain.” I did a lot of that today, more than I have had to do in a while.

But the thing is, when you do keep going despite screaming muscles, you discover that you CAN keep going despite screaming muscles. Your legs won’t actually fall off, just keep moving. Willpower can overcome the weariness.

But it is different if you are dealing with spiritual weariness. Willpower alone cannot overcome spiritual fatigue. This is why I look for ways to connect to God, daily. Whether it is a quiet moment of prayer, some time spent reading the Bible, conversations with those who share my faith, or a time of corporate worship. I need those moments to refresh my spirit, to renew my faith.

Paul wrote this to the church in Corinth:

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NLT

When I try to keep going once I am spiritually weary, I fail. Because the source of strength is outside of myself. The source of my strength is the Living God of the Universe – one who is outside of time, one who is all-present, all-knowing and all-powerful. To try to keep going on my own strength, means going somewhere other than the SOURCE.

In my gym example, if I tried to keep going based on the way my muscles feel in that making-a-difference zone, I would fail. The source of my strength in that moment is my mind, my willpower.

It is so important that we connect with the source of our strength. That we remember when we are weak, God is strong. That we rely on His strength and allow it to flow through us. Then we will not grow weak, and we will not stumble.

Something new…

If you visit my blog regularly, you might notice that I’ve changed the look of it today. It just felt like it was time for something new – some new colors and fonts and, of course, a picture of me and my puppy.

I was thinking how good it felt to return to blogging last night, and how positive I was feeling about this new season in my life. It just seemed that it would be good to acknowledge that in visual way. So I redecorated my blog space. For someone with my personality type, new often feels scary. But in this case, new is just feeling good.

The Bible promises that:

…anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT

Sometimes, in the life-long journey of faith, that is hard to remember. Sometimes it feels like everything is the same old, same old.  Sometimes you just have to change the way something looks to remember the deep and abiding truth that in Christ all things are being made new.

I hope you like the new layout and color scheme as much as I do (I know, it’s really girly…but then, so am I!).

Light for the Lost Boy…

My favorite singer/songewriter is a fellow preacher’s-kid by the name of Andrew Peterson. His songs about faith with their insightful lyrics, soft acoustic style and passion for Jesus, have informed my faith for the past decade.

I have never met the man, but I think of him as a friend. One who has chided and goaded and lead me to a deeper understanding of my faith and of the human condition in general. He has made me laugh, brought a tear to my eye, and sung what I wanted to say better than I could say it.

So I am excitedly looking forward to the release of his new studio album, Light for the Lost Boy, at the end of August. I was delighted to sign into FaceBook this morning and find that his record company has allowed him to share the cover art for the new album.

The art is by Katie Moore who has done album artwork for Ingrid Michaelson and Starfield, among others. I find the art for Andrew’s new album haunting and beautiful:

 

I want to go on that walk with that lost boy and his lantern. I want to breathe deep and take in the woods that surround us, feeling secure by the light of the lantern.

Most of all, I want to hear the songs that inspired this cover. August 28th cannot come fast enough.

 

 

The good and the bad…

I’ve been struggling with my fitness routine lately. I’ve had some bad binge days when it comes to food and some malaise when it comes to exercising. But tonite I fought my way through the second bootcamp class of the week, and I am pleased with how I feel. I am pleased that I worked hard today – at exercise, at eating well and at my vocation.

Some days are bad. Some days are really hard. The trick, I think, is to not allow those days to be overwhelming. To not allow them to be the end of the story. Bad days definitely come, but so do good days. So do days when it is easy to work hard and live up to the goals you’ve set for yourself.

I saw this on pinterest this evening and it made me smile:

I admit, I am not usually thinking of Jesus during my workout. I’m usually thinking of oxygen and the need for more of it. But I like this picture. I believe the words written here.

And when the bad days come, I need to remember this. Because in this statement of purpose, I find hope. And all that is needed to change a bad day into a good day is hope rightly placed.

He lifts you up!

I have a song by Audio Adrenaline going through my head right now…the lyrics go “you get down, He lifts you up! You get down, He lifts you up! You get down, He lifts you up! Every time you’re down, the Lord lifts you up!”

I find this to be so true. Every time I find myself down – and yes, that happens even to a fairly balanced, fairly bubbly person like me – God sends something to lift me up. Today it was a gentleman who is a client at our foodbank. He stopped by my office and just ‘wanted to talk.’ I sat and listened as he told me about the terrible things he has been through (abuse, addiction, depression, his wife leaving him, disease, etc.) in the past few years. But then he would get this grin on his face and say “God’s shown me so much, though. God is with me all the time.”

He told me how he had become addicted to cocaine, but God had sent a police team into the bar where he got his drugs and all the dealers were cleared out. He said one day one dealer got angry at him and wouldn’t sell to him anymore and that meant that he couldn’t get his drugs anymore. That began the long road to recovery for him.

I loved his honesty and his ability to see God at work in the places where most of us would think God does not go. I found his faith inspiring and his smile contagious.

Things are hard at at the foodbank right now. We are surviving week-to-week. Today there is a total of $56 left in the bank. It will take at least $1800 to buy food for our clients a week from now. It seems insurmountable. And yet – God provides. Endlessly and faithfully. And I am so grateful that He does. Because in sharing a little food with those in need, there is a much deeper blessing to be found for those who serve.

Messing up…

It’s been a tough week for me Weight-Watchers-wise. On the one hand I’ve had awesome success with Weight Watchers over the past year. On the other hand it has been a frustrating game of one-step-forward-two-steps-back since about January. If I have lost anything since then (and whether or not I have is arguable, because I have been up and down a lot), it’s been a very minor amount. Recently, I’ve found that I am letting myself get away with extra tastes and “just a pinch” of this or that.

This is not good. On the one hand, I am sticking to very healthy eating most of the time. My diet has improved leaps and bounds over this time last year. On the other hand, I have been sabotaging myself with all these little extras. This week, especially has been difficult. To the point that tonite I decided to pretty much scrap this week, understand that the scale may say something very nasty to me on Sunday, and start fresh after weigh-in on Sunday morning.

Sometimes we mess up. There’s no great reason for this slip-up on my part. I have kept my exercise up this week, I have been planning healthy meals, I have been enjoying my work and loving the weather. Perhaps this is just a culmination of some stress that has been piling up over the last several weeks. Maybe it’s emotional-jet-lag from a truly terrible week I had a few weeks back. Whatever the reason, I’ve decided to show some grace to myself.

After all, that’s what Jesus would do. That is what God has always done with us, his children. The Old Testament is full of moments when Israel messed up. When they turned away from God. When they lost the plot. And though God warned that turning away from Him meant turning away from love and life and goodness and turning towards the opposite of those things, He never stopped taking them back. The people of Israel never got to the end of God’s grace. God was always ready to take them back one more time. And when they got to the point where it might look like God was finished with them, God changed the rules of the game.

He sent his Son, to live and to die, to teach and to rise again, to break the bonds of sin and death forever and for everyone. I love that about God. This is the the thing that keeps my faith going even when I’m in a dry spell or  struggle. Because I know, no matter how badly I mess up, Christ has already paid the price for my mess-ups. God’s grace is THAT big.

So I am having grace for myself. This week, I have messed up. I recognize it, I own it, and I am sorry for it. I will be careful over the next two days and I will begin fresh with Weight Watchers on Sunday. And I will remember to be thankful that in Weight Watchers, as with God, it is never too late for a new beginning.