spirituality

I am, you are…

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I came across this on Facebook recently. It was one of those days when things weren’t going right, and I needed something to let me know it’s all going to be okay.

You know days like this? They start when you get out of bed and knock over the glass on your bedside table…spilling water and shattered glass everywhere. Then you find you are running late and no matter how hard you try to rush, you fall further and further behind. When you try to get a bit of grocery shopping, you discover you left the list at home and though you try to remember it all, you aren’t able to do so and you know you’ll have to find time to make another trip to the store. Someone makes a remark, and it’s the kind of thing that would normally slide right off your back, but this time it digs beneath your skin and you feel the sting of it hours, or even days, later. The dog bites, the bee stings, and you’re feeling sad.

Instead of thinking of brown paper packages tied up with strings on days like that…I want to remember whose I am. Because at the end of the day, when everything is a mess, if I belong to God – who is peace, joy, strength, comfort, creator, and all the other things that God is revealed to be in the Bible – then the forgotten groceries, the shattered glass, the cutting remark, the bee sting…they all lose their power over me. The power rests instead with the One who created it all, who sent His Son to lay down his life that I (and you!) would be able to be with him forever. I am His. And in that I find my true identity, my true rest, my true hope.

So whether you’ve had one of those days, or whether everything has been just fine – be encouraged my friends. You are HIS. Nothing can ever change that.

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Ephesians 3:14-19 NLT

Joy…

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Today is the Advent Sunday of Joy. This marks a turn in our Advent journey. This is when the celebration of this season becomes a true celebration. This is when we turn from quiet contemplation to elation…sometimes our joy may be noisy. But sometimes it might be soundless.

Today I experienced joy in many different forms – it was there in the greetings of congregants before worship, it was there in the singing of the choirs (both junior and senior), it was there in time spent with a friend. And it was there in a quiet moment, as my dog and I stepped out into a snow flurry for an evening walk.

Joy is a gift. And our deepest, truest joy comes from the birth of a baby in Bethlehem. A baby who’s beautiful life, ground-breaking teaching, and sacrificial death would reconcile God and humankind. Through him, we are saved – the basis of all our joy.

The angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David!
Luke 2:10,11 NLT

Born to bleed…

Having just finished up a sermon, and being a little exhausted, I’m not going to write a lot for this evening’s blog entry.

But I’ve been noticing this Christmas how often Easter makes an appearance in the carols and songs of the season. I love it. You can’t have Christmas without Easter and you can’t have Easter without Christmas. Sometimes people want to just enjoy the sweet baby Jesus, without thinking what would happen 33 years later. Well, maybe it is because I had the experience of being at the birthplace of Christ, and then the deathplace of Christ a few days later this year…but I just can’t look/talk/think/sing about the baby without also being deeply aware of the cross. They go hand in hand for me.

And they should. The baby has to grow up, and do his work and lay down his life, or we’re all lost.

So on that note, I’ve been listening to this song a lot this season. I hope you’ll enjoy it, too:

Mystery…

 

SmokeI was reminded today that the age of reasoned faith has passed and we are now living in the age of the Spirit…the age of mystery. And this means that the church needs to be not only ok with talking about the mystery of God, but encouraging to those who are longing to experience the mystery of God.

When I was younger (I know, some of you are thinking “Rebekah, you’re still young!”…but I mean 20 years ago – when I was in my late teens), I used to be scared of thinking of God as a mystery. I was at a time in my life when I needed to KNOW about God. I needed a strong, resolute, knowledge-based faith. And the last thing I wanted was anyone giving me room for doubt or for not-knowing or for not-having-all-the-answers. I was afraid of the mystery. (I love the line from the Caedmon’s Call song “Shifting Sands” that says: The only problem I have with these mysteries, is they’re so mysterious!)

But something has happened over the past 20 years. As I have journeyed forward in faith, and as God has been at work in my life, as I’ve grown up and as I’ve changed… I am no longer afraid of the mystery. The words “I don’t know” have become some of my favourite words. Maybe I’ve figured out that I don’t have it all figured out. Maybe I’ve figured out that it is ok that I don’t have it all figured out. Maybe I’ve realized that God doesn’t need me to have it all figured out. That I don’t have to have it all figured out, to still have faith.

Because God IS mysterious. He does things we don’t expect. His timing isn’t what we think it will be. If we think we’ve got it all figured out, we’re probably about to go into a serious faith crisis. Because sooner or later we will bump up against things that are bigger, tougher, and more confusing than anything we think we have figured out.

God is bigger than you and me, bigger than our plans, bigger than our solutions, bigger than our fears and bigger than our doubts. Bigger than the things we think we know.

Except for this one thing that I am absolutely, unshakably sure of: God loves me, and God loves you. And that one things is so powerful, that all the mystery in the universe cannot overcome it.

Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Ephesians 6:19-20 NIV

Familiar…

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So today was another funeral at St. A’s. I’ve lost count of the number that we’ve had since this year began. But it has easily been too many. The gentleman whose life we celebrated today was not known to me, but he was an ordained elder in our congregation. He was remembered fondly by many who are elders today.

As the service rolled on, I found myself thinking about the scriptures that were read. I have heard them too many times recently. But because of that, they were strangely comforting to me. There was something in the rhythm of the words, the familiar cadence of these promises of God, that was deeper than the words themselves. Deeper than the things they were describing. It’s hard to explain what I felt as I listened to them yet again.

If there is a sound to the fabric of life, I think it is heard in powerful words of Scripture that are often repeated. The words of the 23rd Psalm – The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want – or the firm voice of Jesus saying “I am the way, and the truth, and the life” or the beautiful writing of Paul’s letter to the church in Rome, reminding them that he is convinced that neither depth nor height nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.

As I listened, what could have been a very exhausting and sad time (really, it has been too much lately, and I echo the sentiment of one friend who said “I just don’t want to sit in another funeral.”), was transformed and transcended. I found myself deeply moved by by the sense that these words and stories travel with us throughout our lives. They may be often read at a funeral, but they shape and form followers of Jesus in our good moments as well as the bad ones, in our happy moments as often as our sad moments, in our times of celebration and our times of grief.

I am so glad we do not go this road alone.

In this together…

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I have always believed that since God is an ever-present, ever-loving community (that’s what the Trinity is really all about), and since we are made in God’s image, we are made for community. We are not made to do this – any of this, life in general – alone. We are meant to be in this together.

Now, having said that I am a single girl and an introvert to boot. I spend a fair amount of time alone (or at least with just me and my animals). And the introvert in me craves that solitude. I not only like a day where it’s just me, Koski and Fatcat. I need it.

My vocation requires me to be in social situations. And don’t get me wrong – I love the times I spend with my congregation (whether as a whole or in specific groups). I need those times, too. It is good to be with people who believe in what I believe in, who share in prayer and song and relationship in general. But one of the ways I know that I am an introvert, is that when one of those social situations comes to an end, I am exhausted. And what I want most is to sit quietly in my house.

Despite this, one of the biggest gifts God has given me in Ministry, is the opportunity to minister as part of a team. It may seem a contradiction, but I work better in a team. I think better. There is someone I can turn to when I am second-guessing my thoughts or plans. When one of us is tired, the other can pick up the slack. Some weeks I get to actually sit in worship on a Sunday morning and listen to good preaching, and some weeks Geoff gets to sit and listen. We are, each of us, blessed on those weeks. I am so very thankful that we are in this together.

The following passage from Ecclesiastes is under the heading “The value of a friend,” in the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible. Often it is read at weddings, but in this instance I mean nothing romantic or sexual by it. It is simply true that in ministry, as in most other areas of life, it is better when you don’t have to go it alone.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NRSV

Stronger

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Last night I had the opportunity to do something I haven’t done in many years: I played Capture the Flag (look it up, it’s a simple game). This involved a lot of running and chasing and running. And despite my hope of getting in “jail” and therefore having a time out, I guess I was a little too good at the game, because it wasn’t until about the last quarter that I actually got that break.

Today, my whole body aches. My abs, my thighs, my right heel pad, my hip flexers…I’m pretty sure the shoulders are due to a class at the gym, but they ache, too.

I’ve toyed with the idea of taking up running, but I’ve never actually done it. And based on the results of last night I am not sure I ever will.

But I will say this for myself – despite all the aches and pains today, I was able to walk for 90min with my dog and do a Combat cardio class at the gym this evening. This is a sign of progress for me. I used to think I any little hurt or discomfort as a reason not to get any exercise. The pain/discomfort I am feeling today is the kind that means you’ve worked hard, but not the kind that means you need to stop because you are doing damage to yourself. It could have been an excuse not to work hard today. I am glad that I didn’t allow it to be that. I am growing and learning in this fitness journey.

You know, I am learning a similar lesson in terms of the community of faith where I serve. Occasionally – and probably without intent – people say or do things that are hurtful to me. And it could be an excuse to pull back from that individual or from the community as a whole. Certainly, that is what I would have done in my first couple of years of ministry. But the longer I serve in this capacity, the more able I am to take a long hard look at those injuries and decide whether they are just ‘growing pains’ or something more serious that needs some attention in order to heal. More often than not, they are growing pains – things that will teach and help develop my ministry skills, but anything that should be used as an excuse.

I love knowing that God is working on me, God is making me stronger…both in body and in spirit.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4 NIV

Legacy…

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In the community of faith, where I serve as Associate Minister, we have suffered a number of losses in the past 9 months or so. Many of these have been sudden and unexpected. Death comes to us all, and the Bible tells us that our days are numbered. No one knows when or how their life will end.

Most of us live as though we have an endless supply of time. But we don’t. And I’ve been thinking about what it means to leave a legacy once you are gone. When I think of the church members we have lost, I am touched to be able to say that each one made an impact on me. If asked, I could speak about the legacy these followers of Jesus built up over their lifetime…even though I only knew them for a couple of years.

I am not saying they were perfect people – none of us are – but they lived and loved in ways that would cause God to say “Well done!” when their lives were over.

Though I often get a lot of good-natured teasing in the church about my age (people always think I’m younger than I am, but at 37 years old, I am still on the very young end of the scale in church world), I feel like I am more aware than I have ever been about the passing of time and how very short life can be.

Each kindness we do to another, each time we give a little hope to someone in despair, each time we great another with a smile or a hug – we are building up a legacy. When we do these things we are being Christ to others. And that is the best legacy of all. As we do these things, we are ‘storing up treasures in Heaven’ and putting our hearts in exactly the right place.

So if there is someone in your life who could use a kindness or a word of hope, or a hug or a smile, do not hesitate to be generous with these things. Time may be short, but we all can choose to live in a way that brings Heaven to Earth and gives glory to God.

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where moths and vermin do not destroy,
and where thieves do not break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:20-21 NLT

Clean…

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Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
1 Corinthians 6:19,20 NLT

So today was the final day of the fruit-and-veggie cleanse that I have been on. It’s gone surprisingly well. For a week I have cut out dairy, wheat, and sugar. I have been eating vegetables and fruit, a small packet of almonds and in the last 3 days of the cleanse, a small portion of lean protein in the evening.

I thought this would be a really difficult thing to do and to maintain. But it turned out fairly easy. What I have noticed is that I have been sleeping really well on this cleanse. I drop off to sleep so quickly and I haven’t had any of those nights where I just couldn’t turn off my brain.

Also, as one of my friends who has given up wheat and sugar says, I just feel “clean”…like generally…internally and externally. So my plan, going forward, is to only eat sugar once a week, and to keep wheat to an “only on special occasions” frequency (ie, less than once a month).

In the above quote, Paul is teaching the church in Corinth about sexual morality. And I don’t doubt that we have our fair share of that in today’s society. But I think a bigger issue is how we eat. We eat what is fake and that is bad for us. (There is a whole eating program called “Just Eat Real Food.”) And yet, we sanction this. We treat our bodies horribly by taking in chemicals that are known to cause cancer, and then we complain when we get sick. It is socially acceptable to eat poorly. Some people even brag about it.

But I wonder how that affects our spirit. I believe everything in life also has a spiritual component to it. So if we eat poorly, if we nourish our bodies poorly, are we also failing in our spirituality? God gave us these bodies and we are meant to treat them with respect, to keep them clean.

I do not mean this as a rant or a condemnation against anyone. I am only beginning to make this connection in my own life, after two years of striving for healthier eating patterns. I am not judging what others do, I am simply asking questions as they occur to me and as I grapple with them.

I have come to the belief that I must treat the environment with love and respect, because it is God’s creation. I have long held the belief that I must treat others with love and respect because they are God’s children. I think I am finally beginning to understand that I must also treat my body with love and respect because I am God’s child and God’s creation.

It’s good to know there is always something new to learn.

Steadfast…

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One of the things that happens (at least in my experience) to pastors after Easter is something I call “the drag.” It’s a general lack of energy or malaise. Nothing’s really wrong, but it’s a little harder to focus or to find inspiration. There’s been this huge build towards Holy Week, and afterward it’s easy to feel “meh.”

It’s something that, after 6 years in ministry, I am still learning to cope with. I know it is coming and I am learning to be kind to myself, to give myself a little leeway during this period. It doesn’t last forever, which is good. But it’s also Nora time I can afford to just take off. There are still things to be done, meetings to attend, services to plan and execute. So what I am learning is how to balance the “to do” list with some time for rest and recuperation.

If I am not careful, this could be a time when I work too hard and end up dealing with illness or burnout. On the other hand, it could easily become an extended time of low-energy or even depression.

The trick is finding balance. And balance is a tricky thing to find.

I think the same could be true in a general life of faith. There are these “high points” throughout the Christian year…but what about “the rest of the time”? Do we get ourselves all psyched up and ready for the holy seasons and then just fall away afterward? I hope not. I certainly think that was not what Jesus had in mind for his disciples. I am certain that Jesus had in mind the kind of faith Paul describe in his letter to the church in Colosae:

And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.
Colossians 2:6, 7 NLT

Followers of Jesus are followers of Jesus whether it is Holy Week or just a random Tuesday in any month of the year. We are meant to be rooted and grounded in Him. We are meant to have a steadfast faith, no matter the season.

And while trying to balance rest and the work that must be done, I find it helpful to remember that.