spirituality

Rest…

Tonight is one of those nights where I feel like I can HEAR my bed calling my name. It hasn’t been a particularly stressful day, I am just weary. It happens sometimes.

Didn’t Jesus say something about this? Oh yes, it had to do with yokes and rest and weariness. Personally, I like how Eugene Peterson re-framed those famous words of Jesus:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?
Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Matthew 11:28-30

I especially like that line in the middle that I highlighted. These are good thoughts, and with them echoing in my ears, I will answer the call of my bed.

Accomplished…

Some days I go to bed at night wondering if I have actually accomplished anything during the day that was. Today is not one of those day. I woke up early this morning. I got the shopping done for myself for the week, and also for the snacks for our contemporary service at church tomorrow. I went and shared tea with a group of ladies who are over 80 and are members at St. Andrews. They deserve to be honored for their long years on this earth and in this community of faith, and I was honored to be among them.

When I got home from that event, I spent time making some cupcakes and a chicken chilli. I got 4 loads of laundry done and I cleaned up the kitchen.  I reviewed my sermon for the contemporary service and printed the ‘final’ version of it. I even snuck a nap into this afternoon.

It feels good to have checked a number of things off of my “to do” list.

A life in the ministry is one where you spend some days doing nothing more than talking and thinking. It’s hard to judge how much is accomplished on those days. Sometimes my ‘work’ is one of listening – simply being able to hear what another is going through, and perhaps pass on some encouragement to them. In these cases, it is really hard to judge how much time and energy is expended in the work of ministry. That’s the nature of the beast. Sometimes one conversation – which took no more than 20 minutes – can feel like a full day’s hard labour.

Perhaps that is why a day like today, one in which I can check off a number of ‘tasks’ (though, admittedly, not all of them had to do with ministry), feels so good. It’s nice to have something tangible in the midst of a life that is committed to the intangible, the ethereal, the transcendent.

Today I feel accomplished. And blessed. And ready for tomorrow.

Back to it!

After the better part of a week without strenuous exercise due to a cold, some nasty stomach pains, and a general exhaustion, I’m so pleased to say that today I am back to it!

I got out for 90min (about 7.5km) of walking with the puppy today, and then did a tough WOD (Workout of the Day) with the Deck of Cards App on my iPhone. My four moves (assigned to each suit of a deck of cards) were: Kettle Bell Goblet Squats, Kettle Bell Reverse Lunges, Leg Raises and Push Ups. I also managed to do two Jokers: one was 15 burpees (pretty sure my form sucked, but by the time I got to this card I was pretty fatigued, so I’m not complaining) and the other was 20 plank climbers (starting out in plank position on elbow and then straightening each arm before returning to elbows). It was a brutal workout, but it felt great.

I have this bad habit sometimes – I tell myself things that aren’t true. I don’t mean that I lie to myself, necessarily… Let me explain. Take the past few days and my lack of exercise, as an example. I told myself I was too tired, it would be too hard, I wouldn’t get through it and one day off wouldn’t make any difference. Now in some ways there was truth in those things…I have been very tired this week, it would be hard (though, I believe, not TOO hard) to do a workout when tired/run down, one day doesn’t make a huge difference in the long run.

At the same time I think I used these things as an excuse to not do something that is good for me. I wonder if we do that when it comes to faith. Do I use the busy-ness of a day as an excuse not to pray or to read my Bible? Do I say to myself I am too tired for this at the end of a day, and go to sleep without involving God in my day? Do I tell myself that one day off is no big deal, and then realize that it has been many days since I spent time with my Heavenly Father?

Sadly – even in the life of a ‘professional’ Christian (i.e. pastor/minister/clergy) like me – the answer to these questions is “yes, sometimes.” And yet I know that if I take the time it will be time well spent. If I just get off my butt and do it, (whether ‘it’ is a workout or spending time with God) I will be thankful I did. I will find life easier to take and have a strength that surprises me.

I guess I just want to say tonight: if you are in one of those excuse-finding periods of your life right now, take a moment. Talk to God. Tell Him what is going on with you. Pull out your Bible and read some of the words of Jesus or a favorite Psalm. Pull out your iPod and listen to a worship song and actually PRAY the words to God as you listen/sing along. Just do it. You will be glad you did.

(Oh, and if you’re in an excuse-finding time right now when it comes to exercise. Get off your butt! Do it! You will be glad you did!)

 

 

TGFKY

I didn’t misspell the title of this blog entry. That is, in fact, the name of our 20’s and 30’s group at the church. It stands for “The Group Formerly Known as Youth.” Though I think many do not remember what the acronym stands for. And I often have people saying things to me like “you know – that abdefghik group…the 20’s and 30’s thing”.

Nonetheless, I need to take a moment to blog about our group – I know I have done this before, but in case you don’t remember it, let me remind you. We meet on the 3rd Tuesday of the month. We have dinner and fellowship together, and then we have some sort of program or discussion. This year we have been working our way through Francis Chan’s BASIC series.

I am so impressed with the way that our conversations veer wildly off topic (seriously – we discussed relationships, why some marriages work, what our faith has to say about dreams, and what the apple in the story of Adam and Eve actually represents, all while discussing how to read the Bible), we also have a way of circling back around to the original topic. I am thankful for a place where we can discuss our faith honestly and openly and with a healthy dose of laughter. I am thankful that my ‘job’ on TGFKY nights is to sit and listen and occasionally throw my 2 cents in, but not to control the discussion or the program.

I love getting to do something in ministry that is so organic and so meaningful. I am thankful for “that abcdedfghijk group!”

Jesus is present with us as we meet and I am reminded why I love my church.

Workin’ it…

I took a Sabbath from blogging last night. The weekend was a little crazy, and last night I sat in front of my computer screen trying to come up with a blog topic. I was so tired, I couldn’t come up with anything. After 2o min of trying, I closed my laptop and went to bed. Woke up this morning and realized I had a topic, I had just forgotten it. Whoops. That topic has been stored away for future use.

Tonite I need to do a little physical-fitness bragging.  I was invited to an Outdoor Bootcamp by a friend. I could try it out for free (well, a food bank donation), and then drop in to any class at $10 a go. So tonite was my first experience with it and it was great. We did burpees (I’ve never done them before. UGH!!!), Superman burpees (super-duper UGH!!!), froggers, long jumps, pushups, ball pushups, ball passes (3kg ball), Ball slams (??? 3Kg ball on the ground, squat down, pick it up to over head, then slam it down to the ground), leg raises and heal touches (abs). I didn’t think it was so bad during class, but I’m still feeling the workout and it ended nearly an hour and a half ago. Killer and awesome!

I’m excited to have another weapon in my fitness arsenal. Also, I was excited to learn some new exercises and variations on exercises that I can incorporate into my Deck of Cards WOD. It was great to work out with others and to do it outside (didn’t hurt that today, though windy, was absolutely gorgeous).

And I am amazed that somehow, in the past year of journeying towards greater physical health, working my body hard like this has become a form of worship. I am, during a workout, aware of my body and the things it can do. I am aware that it is a gift from God, and one that, sadly, I have abused for much of my life. I am aware that as I work out, I am treating this gift well, pushing it to its limits, making it better and stronger. I am aware that during a workout I am valuing the gift given to me by my Loving Father. It is amazing to me that something as seemingly mundane as a workout can also become a deeply spiritual exercise (pardon the pun).

Healing Power

At the end of each cycle of our Alpha-and-other-courses on Wednesday nights, we have a healing service. It is the strangest thing – it is just a simple little service. My order of service was hand written with the call to worship written in tiny, probably-only-legible-by-me writing at the top of a sheet of paper that had been torn in half. It’s not slick and professional and produced. In many ways it has less planning and effort put into it than any Sunday service.

And yet it is the most powerful thing. I am always amazed at how exhausted I am afterwards and I can only chalk it up to the fact that I have been in the presence of the risen Lord and He has been at work.

I am astounded at the people who come to this service. I love that some of them walk up to me and say “you know what I need prayer about, Rebekah” and others tell me their story for the first time. I love the honesty of the prayer requests. You know – there is just something great about someone saying plainly what their pain is. It is actually kind of cool when someone says – for example – I’ve been constipated and its very painful. There is no artfulness about that, it’s just honest. And that makes it beautiful.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. In James we read: ” The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” (James 5:16b, NLT)

Sometimes I am just amazed at the how much honor there is in my vocation. I am honored to have been part of this service, once again.

 

A Saturday night party…

For some, it would seem exceedingly strange that my church had a party tonite. It is Easter Saturday. The long dark, hopeless day that the disciples spent in hiding after Jesus’ crucifixion. Before the Resurrection, before the story began to make sense. For many it may be a time to spend in quiet contemplation.

And I can understand how that might be deeply meaningful for some. In the past few years, my Easter Saturdays have often been spent quietly. Thinking about what I will say on Sunday morning, how to share the good news in a way that is fresh and new. But I have to admit, it was kind of a beautiful thing to gather at the table with friends to smile and laugh and tease. To tell stories and eat good food together.

Because Jesus Christ is risen. And even though the official celebration comes tomorrow, the fact is that this is true every day. There will never be another Saturday like the ones the disciples spent, that first Easter. There will never be another day when we have to wonder whether Jesus was just a man…whether it was all in vain, all his preaching and miracles and talk of the Kingdom.

He is alive. He is alive. He is ALIVE!!

And in my books, that is reason for a party every day of the week.

It all begins tomorrow…

Tomorrow we begin the run up to Easter. This year, we at St. A’s are starting with a Christian Seder. It is a new venture for us and my prayer is that it will shake us out of our routine an move us towards seeing new insights and significance in the way the Passover and Communion echo each other. The way that the Old Testament and the New Testament work together. The way that the Old Covenant dovetails into the New Covenant in Christ.

In many ways the next few days will be packed full of activities and theological significance. I have already been touched at the way that God has provided some beautiful preludes to my celebration of Holy Week. In Rosemary’s Bible Study we watched a part of the film 12 Ordinary Men which was the basis for my post that evening. Tonite, in our Wednesday night program, we discussed the significance of the Resurrection. And while I hesitate to write about that before Holy Week has truly begun, I was touched by the sharing that my group did.

God is often like a composer…He knows just when to draw in this instrument or that instrument to highlight a certain theme or to underscore a certain harmony. And I guess tonite I just want to say a quiet thank you for the way he has done that in my life already this week.

From humble beginnings…

I have been thinking about Jesus’ parable of the mustard seed recently. Here’s what Jesus said:

“The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed planted in a field.
It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of garden plants;
it grows into a tree, and birds come and make nests in its branches.”
Matthew 13:31-32 NLT

The Kingdom of Heaven – the place where Jesus reigns, the place where we find ourselves in relationship with him – starts small. It starts humble. The smallest of all seeds. But it grows. It grows into great things which have an impact on the world around them. The tree big enough for birds to find shelter in its branches.

I walk every day along a path with some of the greatest trees. They are huge. And as I was walking the other day I was stopped dead in my tracks by the thought that there was a time that these trees were nothing more than a tiny seed falling into good soil.

This tree, in particular, is right at the beginning of my walking route. It is a beautiful tree, and there is no arguing that it is a majestic specimen. But even this was once only a tiny seed. It took good conditions, and a whole lot of time. And now the birds can find shelter in its branches.

I think we sometimes find ourselves frustrated with time it takes for the growth to happen. I think sometimes we miss the mustard seed all together – not noticing that it has been planted, not sensing the growth process as it begins beneath the surface.

I think I have been in that kind of season recently. But tonight I have hope. Tonight, I think I have begun to glimpse the first hints of green shoots poking through the dark soil.

If you could spare a prayer for me, for the community of faith where I serve as Associate Minister, for the future of the Kingdom and for humble beginnings that grow into great trees, I would appreciate it.

Logically, or emotionally?

Today Koski went to get spayed by the Vet. On the one hand, this is a perfectly routine procedure and tonnes of dogs have gone through it before without a hitch. On the other hand, THIS dog is MINE. And that seems to make all the difference. I didn’t sleep at all last night. I cried when I drove away from the vet’s office this morning.

Logically, I understand that the risks were low and the likelihood that she’d be home with me by the end of the day was high. Emotionally, I was a bit of a wreck (not a terrible wreck, but it was stressful).

And that’s the reality of life, isn’t it? At least for my personality type, it is. I say this all the time: logically I know that….but emotionally I worry/fear/feel that…

One of my colleagues pointed out to me this week, that the fear and worry is a monster that is always hungry. And worrying about an issue just feeds the monster and makes him bigger and hungrier. I asked her what the solution was, then. Because the “just don’t worry” theory doesn’t really work.

And she said the wisest thing. She said, “Find a scripture that brings you great comfort, repeat it to yourself whenever you feel yourself beginning to worry.” So simple. So wise. The word of God chases away our fear and discomfort. The monster cannot survive when we don’t feed it.

So I have chosen a couple of scriptures to help me starve the monster:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD.
“They are plans for good and not for disaster,
to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

Don’t panic. I’m with you.
There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.
Isaiah 41:10 MSG

If you make the LORD your refuge,
if you make the Most High your shelter,
no evil will conquer you;
no plague will come near your home.
For he will order his angels
to protect you wherever you go.
Psalm 91:9-11 NLT

You may choose different ‘starve the monster’ scriptures. But if you are one who finds it easy to worry, easy to feed the monster, I urge you to choose some and to memorize them and meditate upon them. Starve that monster. It’s a better way to live.