Touching the Cross…

Today, during our Good Friday service, the congregation was invited forward to place a card at the foot of the cross. We were invited to write something for which we need forgiveness on the card, or to leave it blank (because God knows what you are thinking/feeling anyway), or simply to come and touch the cross. It was such a powerful moment. Especially since Rosemary had just preached on the fact that the crucifixion isn’t something that happened 2000 years ago, it is something that happens today. Every time we mistreat each other or turn away from God.

After the service, a comment was made on my Facebook that we ‘truly touched the cross.’ I loved that. It was how I felt, too. That in this act of coming forward, of offering our cards (whether we’d written something on them or not), of laying a hand on the black wooden cross that stood beside the communion table, we’d drawn close to the cross of Christ.

Personally, what I found there, was beautiful. It was a moment of sadness, and yet joy. Of loneliness, and yet community. Of understanding the shame of my sin, and yet finding forgiveness and acceptance in Christ.

 

Communion…

I have never really struggled with believing that Jesus is my Lord and Saviour. But as a child, teenager and young adult I absolutely struggled with Communion. I didn’t really understand why we did this thing with the bread and wine (ahem, grape juice). I didn’t know what I was supposed to think or feel and so a lot of the time I didn’t feel much of anything, and I thought I must not be a very good follower of Jesus.

In my years in seminary, this gradually changed. I came across a couple of different explanations about the Lord’s Supper that helped me understand it better. I began to feel myself drawing close to Christ at the table.

Maundy (from the Latin for ‘mandate’ or ‘to command’…a reference to Christ’s commandment that we do this in remembrance of him) Thursday began to be a treasured celebration of the Last Supper and the first Communion. I love that on the very night he was betrayed Jesus gathered with his friends for dinner…even with Judas who would betray him in a very little time.

That’s the kind of saviour I find it easy to love.

It all begins tomorrow…

Tomorrow we begin the run up to Easter. This year, we at St. A’s are starting with a Christian Seder. It is a new venture for us and my prayer is that it will shake us out of our routine an move us towards seeing new insights and significance in the way the Passover and Communion echo each other. The way that the Old Testament and the New Testament work together. The way that the Old Covenant dovetails into the New Covenant in Christ.

In many ways the next few days will be packed full of activities and theological significance. I have already been touched at the way that God has provided some beautiful preludes to my celebration of Holy Week. In Rosemary’s Bible Study we watched a part of the film 12 Ordinary Men which was the basis for my post that evening. Tonite, in our Wednesday night program, we discussed the significance of the Resurrection. And while I hesitate to write about that before Holy Week has truly begun, I was touched by the sharing that my group did.

God is often like a composer…He knows just when to draw in this instrument or that instrument to highlight a certain theme or to underscore a certain harmony. And I guess tonite I just want to say a quiet thank you for the way he has done that in my life already this week.

Inner Circle…

Tonite was the second Weight Watchers Party with some of my colleagues who are also trying to lose weight. We get together once a month and every body brings somethings WW friendly. Then we have a meal and talk about where we are at – in our ministry, with our WW journey, with life in general.

Tonite we had some good old-fashioned (or maybe new-fashioned?) girl-talk. And it was awesome. There are some people you just know you can trust with the honest truth about all things. And these girls are some of those people for me.

I am struck by the idea of how important it is to have an inner circle. Some folks with whom you can just be 100% you. I am blessed to include a number of folks in my inner circle. Some of them interact with each other, some of them have never met and the only thing they have in common is that they know me. Either way, it is good to know there are those who I can turn to when I just need to talk.

Jesus had an inner circle, too. They were less than perfect. They sometimes completely missed the point about where his life was leading. They abandoned him at his most painful hour. And yet he trusted them. And through them, the message spread. Through them the world came to know about the resurrection and the new life available through Christ.

I was reminded today that they were just “12 ordinary men,” but the face of history was changed by them. And in that I find a great sense of hope. Jesus doesn’t need perfect people. He doesn’t need people who’ve got it all together or who get it right all the time. He needs people who care and people who want to share what they’ve found with others.

He can do the rest.

Deep breath….

It is Holy Week. For my minister friends and I this is our second-most-busy time of the year. Christmas being the first. The funny thing is that tonite I had nothing on. Not a single meeting or practice or anything to be done for the church. I am spending tonite taking a deep breath, because the rest of the week there won’t be time to breathe.

That is the way church goes – it’s kind of feast or famine. You’re either insanely busy, or things are kind of quiet and easy. At a big church like the one where I serve, it tends to be more insanely busy than quiet most of the time.

This week we will: have our regular Wednesday night (community dinner, and classes), have a Christian Seder on Thursday night (followed by choir practice, of course), have a Good Friday service (I am very much looking forward to it!) and then have 2 services on Easter Sunday morning (one of which I am preaching). Also, on the Saturday night (not without some controversy) we will have our Mystery Dinner wrap-up party.

In all of this, Jesus will be present (yes, I believe he will be there even at the Mystery Dinner party). And my deep hope is that all who gather will notice him and draw near to him. That in the services, the songs we sing, the prayers we pray and the meals we share, we will find Jesus. We will be touched again by his life and death and resurrection.

It will be a full week. And a good one, I expect. But I am blessed to begin this week by a quietly contemplative evening at home.

 

 

I. Love. My. Church!

Last week was a tough week – some meetings and some difficult health news about a beloved congregant had me down. I struggled to stick to my Weight Watchers points (being an emotional eater), I was tired, my throat started to get sore. It was just a drag of a week. There were bright spots in the midst of the gloom, but I still struggled against the gloom. And you can see that, if you read over my blogs for the week.

But this morning, it was like God took my hand and whispered to me “Despite the difficulties you face in ministry, I’m going to remind you how much you love this place and these people.” And I sat in worship, amazed. I looked around and thought about the more-than-a-year I have spent with this congregation. I thought about conversations we’ve had and moments we’ve shared. I remembered tough moments that we made it through together. I remembered heart breaks and moments of triumph.

And it was so good. God is so good. I feel like I woke up to a sunny day after a week of rain.

I am blessed.

One year ago…

Today I had the opportunity to hang out with a good friend who I don’t get to see all that often (we totally need to change that, because she’s awesome!). And I was driving her to her parents’ place at the end of the day, we realized that we hung out on Palm Sunday last year. We were chatting about what we had done that day – one thing was that we hit McDonald’s for lunch. And she said, “Wow, I bet that was the last time you had McDonald’s.” I replied “Yeah, I bet it was, because it was during Holy Week that I started Weight Watchers.”

In the interest of full disclosure – I have had a McFlurry since then, but only once that I can think of…and definitely no full meals at McD’s.

After dropping her off, I drove home thinking about what a difference a year has made.

So many things in my life are different from this time last year – not the least of which is the transformation that my body and lifestyle have undergone. Sometimes it is good to just sit back and look at the journey you’ve been on. And to realize that in all of the changes that have come, God was there pouring out his mercy and grace upon you.

Food with Friends….

Today was a day full of meals with friends. First was lunch at a favorite Thai place with a friend I haven’t seen in a while. We talked about ministry and dreams.

Then I had supper with my chosen family in Oshawa. It was a fun dinner, too. We did finger foods (sweet potatoe baked fries, sandwiches with great deli meats, raw veggies and laughing cow cheese) and ate in the livingroom while we watched Disney’s Wall-e. It was a great, fun way to fit in dinner and a movie and still let me hit the road early. I’ve been fighting a sore throat this week, so I wanted an early night.

I left both meals feeling full. Full in stomach, of course, but also full in spirit. It is such a good thing to share good nourishing food with friends. Jesus totally understood this and had a pattern of having meals with people. I know I’ve said that before on this blog, but it bears repeating. It’s one of the things I love about Jesus – he understood how to nourish the body and the soul at the same time.

Hope…

Generally, I am a pretty upbeat person. I tend to see the possibility or potential in most people and situations. I like to laugh (which is probably why I have so many friends that are real jokers) and I smile. A lot.

But every once in a while I find myself overwhelmed by difficult conversations or situations. They drag on me and rob me of my general joie-de-vivre. This has been one of those weeks. It just seems like one thing has piled on top of another this week and none of the things piling up have been easy dealt with.

When this happens, I often make a mistake. My favorite Christian singer/songwriter puts it this way:

Well, I realize that falling down ain’t graceful
But I thank the Lord that falling’s full of grace
Sometimes I take my eyes off Jesus
And you know that’s all it takes
–Andrew Peterson, The Chasing Song

In hard times, I admit, I find it all too easy to take my eyes off Jesus…and you know – that is all it takes.

That is all it takes for me to stumble. That is all it takes for me to become overwhelmed. That is all it takes for me to lose sight of hope.

And it is a dangerous place to be. It is a place where Satan whispers all sorts of terrible things in my ear and I lean toward believing them. It is a place where my fear-and-anxiety monster grows because I have begun to feed him well. It is a place where I am easily defeated because I have forgotten the victory I have in Jesus.

And yet the grace of God is this: in that dark place, as I begin to lose hope, Jesus shows up and extends his hand to me. This week that happened when I received a lovely card from my folks. They wished me me a Happy Easter and included a Starbucks card (they know my addictions well). And it was just like a breeze blew through my spirit, carrying away the dark clouds away.

The week didn’t get instantly easier, I have still had some tough moments to face…but I faced them with hope and I was not overwhelmed. And I kept my eyes on Jesus because I had been reminded of all that he has done and continues to do for me.

Sabbath came early…

A friend asked me tonite if she had missed my blog entry from last night. I said, “No, the Sabbath just came REALLY early this week!”

It has been a busy week of meetings and the meetings have been tough ones, and I am tired. So last night I got home from a meeting, looked at the computer and thought “not possible.” I just couldn’t bring myself to sit down and write. I just needed a break.

Sometimes Jesus needed a break, too. He would go off on his own to pray and to think. Then he would come back to his ministry with renewed energy. He knew how important rest is when you are weary, and he didn’t apologize for taking rest when he needed it. I like that about Jesus. And not just because I’m an introvert at heart, and my time alone is precious to me. I like it because I think it is spiritually healthy – to balance times of work and times of rest, times of togetherness and times of solitude.

As I work on my physical health this year, I don’t want to leave my spiritual and emotional health in the dust. I want to seek balance in all areas of my life. Because I believe in One who came to give life and give it abundantly. And it is not possible to have an abundant life if you’re all out of balance.