So every winter my church does a social event called Mystery Dinners. On the first Saturday night of January, February and March, participants are given an address of a host’s house, and hosts are told to expect 2 other couples to show up. So unless you know the address of where you are going, you don’t know who you are having dinner with. And if you are hosting, you have no idea who from the church will show up.

It’s a great way to liven up the dull months of winter, and a great way to get to know some folks in the church, who otherwise you might not get to know. In April, we have a big, themed, wrap-up party at the church. It’s a tonne of fun!

So last night was the first Mystery Dinner night I was able to participate in and I had an absolute blast! It was great to get to spend an evening socializing with these folks and sharing a meal. (Jesus really knew what he was doing when he spent time with people gathered around a table. There is something about a shared meal that gets at the heart of the human experience and opens the doors to relationship.)

But the funniest part to me was just before I left for dinner. My phone rang and it was a member of the church. He asked me, “Are you allergic to onions?” I said no and he said, “Oh, then you’re not coming to our place to dinner tonite.”

I thought it was the funniest thing. One of the traditions about Mystery Dinners at St. A’s is that EVERYONE tries to figure out who is coming to dinner or to whose house they are going before they actually go. I found this SO funny!

Personally, I am all about the surprise. I don’t want to know what the surprise is before I am…well, surprised by it. Apparently I am a little unique in that aspect.

There is something exciting about mystery. Something wonderful about not knowing what will happen. Something great about the idea that there is more to discover.

That’s what I love best about the life of faith – there is always something new to learn. Some new way of thinking about God, or some new perspective on what it means to follow Jesus. I have been living a life of faith in Jesus as my personal saviour for about 17 years now, and I am still learning new things. I am not, nor have I ever been, bored by it.

Mystery is a good thing.

So last week I posted that I was going to build in a Sabbath (day of rest) on my blog – one night a week when I take a break from writing. The purpose of Sabbath is always to allow time for rest and renewal. My intention was that my Sabbath would be Sunday nights.

Sunday is a very high-energy day in the life of a pastor. I serve a busy church and often my Sunday starts at about 7:30am (my own prep at home before I go to study the Bible with the Shepherds at 9am) and wraps up around 3pm. This is a very different way to approach Sunday than I had in my last church, where Sunday began at about 8:30am and was over by about 12:30pm. And in some ways, I’m still learning how much of a toll this takes on me. By Sunday evening, I am usually stretched out on the couch, vegetating. So writing a blog is about the last thing I want to do. Which, of course, means it is a great time for a Sabbath.

Problem is, one week into this Sabbath experiment, I suddenly found myself not-blogging last night. Friday night. Not my intended Sabbath night.

I got home late after spending the afternoon and evening visiting friends. And I thought about blogging as I crawled into bed, but my brain just wouldn’t engage. 20 minutes later I was asleep.

So I think I have learned something from this. I think I have learned that my blog-Sabbath will come when it needs to, not when I intend. If I need a break mid-week, I’ll take a break. If I need a break on Friday night, I’ll take it. If I get to Sunday without having take an a break, I’ll take it Sunday night.

Whichever the case, I will be taking a break and then hopping right back on the horse each week. I hope you can find time to build Sabbath into your schedule. It really is a blessing.

A few weeks ago, I complained that I was all out of routine and it was messing with me.

Tonight I am glad to report that I am back I to the swing of things. I am healthy again. I have been able to go for two walks a day with Koski. I am sleeping regularly. And for the first time since before Christmas I am spending my Thursday evening at choir practice. (The basses are working on their part right now, I am not goofing of when I should be listening to Shelagh – I wouldn’t dare!)

It is SO good to be singing again with this group of people. It struck me, as we ran through the hymns for Sunday, how much I absolutely love praising God in song.

I think song is one of my love languages. And I often walk around with a song in my heart. You may have picked up on that if you read this blog regularly – I am always quoting lyrics that help explain what I am thinking or feeling.

I love choir practice because it isn’t just a time to practice singing. It is a spiritual experience for me. It is a time of devotion.

Tonite our Wednesday night programs kicked into gear. We are doing Alpha and The Divine Conspiracy (Dallas Willard) this ‘semester.’ I am leading a Divine Conspiracy small group.

What I was struck by these evening was one line that Willard came out with. He said faith means “thinking well enough of Jesus to trust him.” As soon as he said it, it just seemed so obvious. When I focus on Jesus – on who he is, what he taught, how he lived – faith seems so easy. OF COURSE, I want to put my trust in him. OF COURSE, he will have nothing but my best interests at heart – even if I can’t see how this moment or that moment fits into the concept of ‘best for me.’

So why do I worry, why do I doubt, why do I struggle to have faith, to trust Jesus?

Well, I’m thinking of a favourite Andrew Peterson lyric. In “The Chasing Song” he sings:

Well, I realize that falling down ain’t graceful
But I thank the Lord that falling’s full of grace
Sometimes I take my eyes off Jesus
And you know that’s all it takes

Sometimes, I find it too easy to get wrapped up in what is happening, my own thoughts, my own perspective. Sometimes, I find it too easy to take my eyes off Jesus. To forget how well I think of him, to forget how much I love him and how much he loves me.

And that is all it takes.

So I am going to try to remind myself of Willard’s words whenever I find myself afraid or worried or overly uncertain about the future.

So a couple of weeks ago I posted that I was in a bit of a financial struggle and that I’d put myself on a strict budget for this month, and a non-essential-spending freeze until June.

Today I was so proud of myself because I’d made it to the end of the month adhering to my budget. I was even going to head out to the grocery store for a round of not-as-restricted-as-last-time groceries. So I got into my car, and…it wouldn’t turn on. Gah!

I know what has happened – the battery is dead. I’m pretty sure that it’s because a door wasn’t properly shut and I haven’t been in my car since Saturday (more than 72hrs by the time I was heading out to the grocery store today). The dome light in my car would have been on the entire time, which drained the battery.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: call someone for a boost, Rebekah! But the thing is, my car is in my (rather small) garage at the moment. You can’t reach it to boost. And because of anti-theft features, you can’t just pop it into neutral and push it out of the garage, either.

So…after smacking my head against the wheel a few times (and uttering some unsavoury language – c’mon, it’s the truth), I headed back inside to call the tow truck company to come and give me a portable boost. As I said, this has happened before. The thing that made me really mad was that this was going to cost me $50, which was not in my carefully planned budget. Grrrr.

While I sat here waiting for the boost and stewing about the cost of it, I thought of CAA. See, after the last time this happened, I thought I should sign up for membership. But within a short time I forgot about it completely, and I never did anything about it. As I waited, I thought I’d better sign up for CAA now. That made me even angrier, because the cost of a membership wasn’t in the budget, either.

But then I thought of something. If I was going to pay for the CAA membership anyway, wouldn’t it make sense to cancel the boost, put off the grocery shopping for a couple of days, and then get a boost from CAA once my membership is active?

And that is exactly what I did.

Little hiccups in life like this one sometimes drive me slightly crazy. I give them more energy and attention than they deserve. I stress about them more than I ought.

So tonite I am taking the time to count my blessings when the hiccups come. Todays blessings:

• I am actually stupidly proud of myself for figuring this out so that I didn’t end up double spending (on the boost and the CAA membership).
• I am deeply thankful that I live right next door to my work and that the only appointment I have ‘off campus’ in the next two days should be fairly easy to re-locate to a walk-able distance (or get a ride to).
• I have enough food in the fridge and the freezer that I don’t need to panic about not getting to the grocery store.

They might seem small – but those are actually pretty big blessings in the scheme of things!

Right now the church where I serve is on a journey. We are looking for a new Lead Minister. Tonite our Session (board of elders) approved the ‘profile’ for this position. Basically this is a resume that our church will release to help candidates decide whether this is where they are called to serve.

Having a profile that is ready to be released is a big step forward. This is the point where the rubber starts to meet the road. Our Search Committee will be receiving profiles from candidates over the next couple of months and they will begin to figure out which candidates stand out, which they want to pursue, and which they don’t.

It is an exciting time for our congregation and an uncertain time. I am please we are moving forward, but I am also wondering what the future holds. I do not know. I am not spending my time worrying and stressing about it, but I am aware that things could be drastically different at St. A’s in another year.

All of this to say that I would appreciate your prayers as we continue on this journey. If you could ask God to give us wisdom, courage, patience and the ability to trust that He is the one leading us on this journey to His appointed destination, I’d sure appreciate it!

So I have been blogging every day since November, now. I really enjoy the daily discipline of writing. I like the time at the end of my day to think back over significant moments. But I am also noticing that there is a pattern to it. And by Sunday evening, I am in need of a rest. My blogging buddy, Michelle has tackled this by instituting ‘Silent Sundays’ (in which she posts a pic instead of writing a blog entry).

While I love that idea, I have to admit, I am not keen on doing it myself. I know I would arrive at about 11pm and be scrambling to figure out a photo I could take before deadline.

All of this to say that I am contemplating the idea of Sunday being a rest day for my blog. So do not fear if you don’t see a post from me next Sunday…I am simply partaking in the Sabbath and will return to writing the next night.

Craig Groeschel (a preacher & church leader who I enjoy) once said: sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is rest.

Amen, brother.

As soon as it started to get really chilly this fall, I stopped using my barbeque. I just didn’t want to be cooking outdoors with the cold and the rain.

But last week I was looking through my freezer to see what I have ‘in stock’ that I can use for meals. I’m on a tight budget at the moment, and I figured it would be wise to use up some of the food I have in my freezer.

So tonite saw me returning to grilling. In the midst of a snow storm. Recently I’d been on a bit of a vegetarian kick, eating veggie chili or black bean soup for supper (both of which, I absolutely love, but I felt like a bit of a break). But in the past couple of days, I’ve been craving protein (as one friend says REAL protein, not what you can get from beans and cheese). I had to smile to myself as I threw on a toque and winter jacket each time I went to check on the food I was grilling (steak, pineapple, red peppers, zuchinni…YUM!).

I don’t think there is much that feels as truly Canadian as grilling in a snowstorm. So, half a year before patriotic celebrations come into season, I find myself thinking how much I love my country (even though I don’t love winter). And how glad I am that God has given me this place for my home.

C’mon Canadian friends, say it with me: I. AM. CANADIAN!!!!

It is Friday night and I am hanging with my friends in Oshawa. I have no brilliant or deep spiritual thoughts other than: friends, food, laughter and Scotch are a great combination. And I am happy to be alive. I hope that where ever you are, you are also surrounded by people you love and blessed by good times that will become good memories.

Today I had a great experience at Lunch with the Minister. This is a once-a-month event we have at St. A’s, where we invite everyone to bring their lunch, and come out for a time of fellowship and learning with the minister. We eat together in the great hall, and then the minister (which ever of us is leading Lunch with the Minister this month), spends some time teaching or sharing. After that, we open the floor up for discussion. Today, I decided to share the first video in Francis Chan’s BASIC series.

The film is called “Fear God” and speaks about the idea that we’ll never fully enter into relationship with God until we’ve come to a moment where we experience the fear of the Lord. Proverbs 9:10 tells us “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…”

I’ve had the chance to watch this film a number of times now, and discuss it with two different groups. And each time, it has been interesting to see how people wrestled with this idea. I think Chan is talking about a moment – a moment of recognizing how big, powerful, awesome, and amazing God is – instead of an extended period of living in fear of God. But this seems to be a hard concept for us to grasp. I think we have a lot of baggage around the word ‘fear’ when it comes to God, and it was hard for each group to set that baggage aside and really hear what Chan was saying.

Even with that said, what was amazing as we discussed the film, was how willing everyone was to share their thoughts and feelings and experiences. It’s a beautiful thing to watch a group of believers wrestle with their understanding of God. And that is one of the many reasons my ‘job’ rocks!